Treating Anger with Tenderness And The Amazing Changes It Can Bring Into Your Life!
Internal Formations And Energy!
Anger is an internal formation since it makes us suffer
miserably against our desire, we try our best to get rid of it as much as we
can.
Psychologists like the expression, “getting it out of your
system.” and they speak about “venting anger”, like ventilating a room filled
with smoke.
Some psychologists say that when the energy of anger arises in
you, you should ventilate it by hitting a pillow, kicking something, or by
going into the forest to yell and shout, all these will help you get the energy
out of your system and you will immediately into peace and calm.
Be Mindful!
Mindfulness does not fight anger or despair, not in the least. Mindfulness is there in order to recognize and
embrace pain and sorrow and be at peace with it.
To be mindful of something is to recognize that that something
is there in the present moment and it has a reason to be there as it has come
with both a lesson and a blessing at the end of the day.
Mindfulness Is The Capacity Of Being Aware!
Mindfulness is the capacity of being aware of what is going on
in the present moment, being in total acceptance and surrender to it.
“Breathing in” - I know that anger has manifested in me”;
“Breathing out, - I smile towards my anger.”
This is not an act of suppression or of fighting, it is an act
of recognizing, of acceptance and total surrender.
Once you recognize your anger and the reason for it, you can now
embrace it with a lot of awareness and lot of tenderness and gratitude.
When it is cold in your room especially in the winter months,
you turn on the heater and the heater begins to send out waves of hot air all
around the room, warming it up.
The cold air doesn’t have to leave the room for the room to
become warm, the cold air is simply embraced by the hot air and becomes
warm—there’s no fighting at all between them. It’s a mutual understanding and
transformation from one to the other.
Mindfulness Does
Not Fight Anger Or Despair!
You practice taking care of your anger in the same way as the
mind does without fighting, anger or despair.
Mindfulness recognizes anger, embraces and welcomes it into your
psyche as the august visitor that it is, it is aware of its presence and
accepts and allows it to be there.
Mindfulness is like a big brother who does not suppress his
younger brother’s suffering but simply says, “Dear brother, I’m here for you.”
You take your younger brother in your arms and you comfort him.
This is exactly your practice.
Imagine a mother getting angry with her baby and hitting him
when he cries, that mother does not know that she and her baby are one.
You have to embrace your anger not fight and destroy it.
Your anger is you and your compassion is also
you!
To meditate and contemplate does not mean to fight.
In Buddhism, the practice of meditation should be the practice
of embracing and transforming, not of fighting.
Venting!
As a kid you probably were not supposed to say certain “swearing”
words, neither were you allowed to swear or curse especially the females as you
were told “it’s unladylike to swear and curse’.
Your parents may not have allowed you to say these words because
they are harmful and they damage relationships and friendships built over years
in the twinkle of an eye.
So you went into the woods or to an isolated place and shouted
these words clearly and very strongly, in order to relieve the feeling of
oppression.
People who use
venting techniques are actually rehearsing anger!
People who use venting techniques like hitting a pillow or
shouting are actually rehearsing anger and practicing how to have it in their
lives.
When someone is angry and vents their anger by hitting or
throwing a pillow, cursing loudly or throwing tantrums especially in the case
of kids and teenagers, they are learning a dangerous habit.
They are training in aggression. Instead their approach should
be to generate the energy of mindfulness and embrace anger every time it
manifests.
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a
line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long
run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt
and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and
that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and
desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions
come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the
patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are
causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and
that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So
ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at
https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal.
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