Is It Right To Hurt Each Other’s Feelings When In a Relationship?
Honesty Is Key,
Even If It Hurts!
They spend so much time in the bathroom and eventually room
looking good and glamorous for a simple night out with their men. They are
usually gorgeous.
But every once in a while they may look different and
unglamorous like trying something new with their hair or wear a pair of boots or
heels that some flamboyant fashion designer from Milan or New York thought were
avant-garde.
And it just doesn’t work.
When you simply tell them the truth about how it doesn’t all
come together as they want – the glamorous fashionista, they get angry and may
go back to redo the whole process again wasting valuable time lost already.
In some instances, they may make you end up getting to your
function or outing late and the day or night may end up not being as you
intended in the first place,
But the truth is, the truth really hurts and deflates the ego
and may be a bitter pill to swallow especially for a vain person driven by ego
to stand out and who doesn’t know how to take or handle criticism well.
They may react harshly or rudely, may stalk off leaving you
stupefied or may even do acts or show behaviour totally irrational but it pays
to stand your ground and still stick to the truth no matter how much you hurt
the other person’s feelings and emotions.
You may just be helping them save themselves and you may just be
saving your relationship or friendship.
Stand Up Firm In The Face Of Lies And Deceit!
Men stereotypically lie in most situations and conditions to
make their girlfriends and wives happy and maybe in their own thinking to keep
the peace.
But you really shouldn’t do that!
Why?
Because honesty in all relationships and friendships is more important
and is more appreciated than feeling good all of the time.
Most times in the long run, your friends and partners get to
thank you immensely when they see what you have saved them from.
Your partner may call you out on your bullshit or pass on your
bluff sometimes and it’s honestly one of the most important traits they may
have and that you may sincerely value and appreciate about them.
Sure, your ego may get bruised and you bitch and complain and try
to argue on the subject especially when you try to prove your point or drive
home your advantage as the male, but a few hours later you will come to your
senses and see that your partner was right all along and that she intends and
wants only to make you a better person even though you didn’t see it at that
time and hated hearing it too.
When your highest priority is to always make yourself feel good
and you realize how blessed you are at all times and to always make your
partner feel good and blessed too as you are then nobody ends up feeling good.
And your relationship may fall apart without you even knowing it,
because you can’t always make other people happy.
They must choose to make themselves happy and be happy as you
have chosen to make yourself happy.
No matter how hard you try, it won’t work because happiness is
an inside job and the individual responsibility of the person involved and not
at all up to their partners and friends.
Tough Love Can Hurt
But If Often Makes Us Better People!
It’s important to make something more important in your
relationship and friendship than merely making each other feel good or high and
elated all the time.
The feel good stuff happens when you get the other things in
your life and reality right especially your thoughts and emotions.
The sunsets, flowers and puppies, they happen when you get the
more important stuff right: values, needs and trust.
Making Honesty The
Foundation Of A Healthy Relationship!
If and when you feel smothered and need more time alone or
sometime to sort out yourself especially your thoughts and emotions, you need
to be capable of saying that without blaming your partner and friend.
They need to be capable of hearing it without blaming you or men
in general for such things happening when they happen, despite the unpleasant
feelings it may cause.
If she feels that you are cold and unresponsive to her needs and
emotions, she needs to be capable of saying it without blaming you or men in
general for such attitude and behaviour and being insensitive to the feelings
and emotions of females.
They need to be capable of hearing anything and everything you
have to say with a calm and open mind, which is open to love and understanding
with a dash of compassion and empathy and without blaming you, despite the
unpleasant feelings it may generate.
These conversations are paramount to maintaining a healthy
relationship and friendship that lasts for ages and ages and that meets both
people’s needs.
Without meeting all the conditions stated above, you may get
lost and lose track of one another and before you know it, you have grown apart
and the distance may be too wide to be able to do anything about and this may
herald the end of the relationship and friendship.
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a
line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long
run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt
and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and
that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and
desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions
come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the
patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are
causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and
that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So
ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at
https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal
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