Be Willing To End It And Move On: It’s Your Choice!
Standards For A Relationship!
The truth is our standards for what a successful relationship
should be is really crazy and doesn’t favour the females at all but rather, the
man is portrayed as the hero who must be satisfied at all times and mostly to
the detriment of the female.
If a relationship ends and someone’s not dead, brutalized,
scarred for life or left in a pitiable condition, then we view it as a failure,
regardless of the emotional and psychological pains and induced trauma may have
caused or brought on and the practical circumstances present in the person’s
life as a result.
Romeo and Juliet in the ever famous novel “Romeo and Juliet” was
originally written as a satire to represent everything that’s wrong or can be
wrong or possibly wrong with young love and how irrational romantic beliefs can
make be.
But somehow we look at this story as romantic even with the
tragic end of the love and the love birds and we totally as can be expected
missed out on the moral of the entire story.
Knowing When To Let
Go And Move On!
It’s this kind of irrational idealization and mistaken concepts
and beliefs that leads people to stay with partners who are abusive or
negligent to them and their needs and desires and they end up having to give up
on their own needs and identities.
They have to make themselves into imaginary martyrs and heroine who
are perpetually miserable to satisfy their partners and are forced to suppress
their own pain and suffering in the name of maintaining a relationship “until
death do us part.”
Some even take the whole “God do us part” to the extreme holding
unto relationship that has long gone past its time and believing in a man who
beats them to a pulp and has turn their second home to the emergency ward at
the hospital and yet they fight for him and tell everyone who cares to listen
that they believe in them.
Some would put up a fight in the name of defending their love
and unfortunately will hold unto this until their dismal and untimely end at
the hands of this man who was supposed to love and protect them till their end.
Marriage In Africa!
In Africa it’s even worse as most cultures don’t believe in
divorce and don’t condone such so you are on your own. Mothers even advice
their daughters and wards to endure torture and domestic violence in the name
of keeping their homes intact and protecting the family name and prestige.
Divorce is also taboo in many religious circles and they quote
from the bible how it is frowned upon by God and how a “virtuous woman obeys
her husband, satisfy him and keep the home” while missing out totally on the
responsibility of the man to his wife.
This is even more so with young girls who are forced into early
marriages with matured men when they are hardly more than little girls
themselves and are forced to endure harrowing and humiliating experiences and
torture at the hands of this men.
Sometimes It Pay To End It!
Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful
is ending it at the appropriate time when it isn’t working out for you, before
it becomes too damaging and spiral out of control.
And the willingness to do that allows you to establish the
necessary boundaries to help yourself and your partner grow together in mutual
love and understanding and provided you are both in agreement on this.
Ending A
Relationship At The Appropriate Time!
“Until death do us part” is romantic and everything else in
between but when you worship your relationship as something more important than
yourself, your values, your needs and desires and most especially your
happiness and fulfilment in your life then you create a sick dynamic where
there’s no accountability and with a negative outcome.
You have no reason to work on yourself and grow because your
partner has to be there no matter what and they hold the key to everything and
that’s unfortunate for you.
And your partner has no reason to work on themselves and grow
because you are going to be there no matter what. It invites stagnation and
stagnation equals misery and unhappiness.
How long that will be is all up to you!
It’s your choice!
So choose wisely!
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a
line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long
run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt and
absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and that’s
when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and
desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions
come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the patterns
and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are causing
your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and
that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So
ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at
https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal
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