You Have The Right To Be Consulted On Decisions That Affect You!
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For partners who live together, they usually consider themselves
highly committed and as such share finances, bills and other major decisions
about big lifestyle questions if and when they should arise and usually it
should be with the input of both/all partners.
The Right To Be
Consulted On Important Decisions!
Even if it is primarily your partner’s decision to make
concerning the course/path of your lives and future together, like whether to
stay in their current job or look for a new one, they owe it to you to bring you
into a discussion about how this will affect you both before handing in their
notice or resignation.
It doesn’t matter whether you live far away from each other like
in the long distance relationships or whether your job or your partner’s job is
too demanding to give time for a discussion, they still owe it to you to have
the discussion so that you can both make the necessary decision for your future
together.
Even if you have both agreed that one partner will make some
major or all the decisions about your future in a certain area, you still have
the right to renegotiate that agreement if you want to be more involved,
especially since your life and future and those of any kid or kids you have
come into it as well.
Together You Stand And Divided You Fall!
In less entwined or romantically involved relationships, you
should still each have the same level of independence and accountability about
decisions you make together as a team each contributing in equal measure to the
success and long term goal and success of the relationship.
If your partner can take a two-week vacation alone without
telling you and then gets mad when you plan a weekend away all by yourself too
and without your partner’s consent and prior knowledge then that’s a bad sign.
A really bad sign!
You Have The Right To End A Relationship That
Isn’t Making You Happy!
How many people
would dare to face themselves and be honest with themselves about the truth of
their relationship and decide to end it themselves when they feel it doesn’t
serve them or in their best interest.
Most relationships have their rough patches and edges, and it’s
generally a great idea to work on conflict management, resolution, compromise
and flexibility together as one or as a team.
The Right To End A
Relationship!
But at the end of the day, if your relationship isn’t making you
happy, you have every right to end it and move to better or a better one that
serves your best interest.
You don’t need a big reason or excuse that you aren’t good enough especially for someone
else, as long as you are enough and good enough for yourself then that’s all
that matters.
It’s all about you and your happiness!
If your lives are deeply intertwined especially if you have
children or if your partner is dependent on you for all their needs and
sustenance, the transition may then be complicated and you may need to maintain
status quo or stay in that relationship at least for a while you try to resolve
these issues.
But you always have the right to decide not to be romantically
or sexually involved with your partner, spouse or mate anymore and you don’t
have to answer to anyone about your choices and decisions nor explain your
reasons.
Standing up for all of these rights does not make you
unreasonable, demanding, or too picky or too bossy, it just means you have
taken over the wheels of your life and are driving your life yourself.
Your choices and decisions are no longer on automatic or
auto-pilot but you are consciously making these choices and decisions and are
taking and have accepted responsibility for your life and reality
If there is anyone telling you differently then it’s not your
business to bother about them as they probably have some internalized some
pretty crappy messages about what women are worth and that’s where they are at
the moment.
You deserve all these things as a bare minimum in your
relationship!
Build A Healthy
Relationship By Standing Up For Your Rights!
If you realize or are just realizing that you have let some of
these rights that are fundamental for your happiness and well-being get
overridden in your relationships, please don’t blame yourself.
Standing up for yourself in your relationship can be really hard
and most times takes a lot of practice and more practice to stay abreast of it
all.
You are always working on it and it is always a work in progress
and you couldn’t do it without the help of supportive friends, family and
possibly your friendly therapist and ally to show the way and guide you
appropriately.
Reading lots of books and articles and getting help on
self-empowerment is crucial on your journey to mastering yourself and creating
your happiness for yourself in your relationship.
Talking with a counselor or a therapist as you deem fit, and
getting perspective from friends who are good at standing up for their own
needs and who can help you by guiding you on your own journey so that you can
do the same for yourself are all good ways to develop this skill.
So
by expanding and taking charge, you become aware of the serenity and truth of
life and what it really is.
Then
you and your partner can continue your connection in light and love through the
great source of all life that has brought you too together to learn to give and
receive love and to help each other become the best versions of yourself.
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a
line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long
run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt
and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and
that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and
desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions
come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the
patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are
causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and
that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So ask
yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at
https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal.
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