You Have the Right To Have Interests And Friendships Outside Your Relationship!

How many have given up on family, friends and loved ones just to satisfy a partner and keep the relationship even when the other partner has his/her family, friends and loved ones close by them all the time.

The rest of your life doesn’t end or simply stop existing when you get into a relationship or because of your partner and the fact that you want to keep that relationship no matter what your partner dishes out to you or puts you through.

You Have A Right To Be You!

To borrow a line from a popular blogger “you would jump through hoops just for this guy to keep the relationship without consideration for what you want, your needs and desires.

It’s always about your partner and hardly or never really about you and your interest and hobbies. 

While the balance of time you spend on things and events like hobbies and other interests may shift, you still get to maintain your friendships and keeps your friends close by, keep and maintain family relationships, interests, and activities.

The Right To Spend Time With Friends!

A partner who complains when you see your friends definitely has a lot on their mind and a serious explanation to do or when they belittle the interests, hobbies and activities you have that they don’t share or are plain not interested in whatever kind of activity or hobby you do outside the relationship, might just be very insecure or have some learning to do about boundaries.

Or it could be a precursor to abusive and controlling behavior on their part which you should pay close attention to and be careful about.

Either way, you have the right to a life outside your relationship with your partner and also to those hobbies and activities that you had before your relationship or have made during your relationship and deserve a partner who supports this.

You Have The Right To Be Shown Respect By Your Partner Both In Private And In Public

Who doesn’t like to be adored and courted and the relationship made a priority when your partner, spouse and mate show off your relationship and how much you are loved and respected both in private and in public.

 

You can disagree, you can find things about each other that are irritating, annoying and downright ugly and disgusting but in a respectful relationship, your partner, mate or spouse will not mock or belittle you in a way that you find hurtful.

 

They will show you utmost care, respect and understanding of you, your needs and the situation or circumstances that has arisen in the present moment.

 

They will not act like they’re ashamed of you or put you down in public, rather they will treat you like an adult and an equal, their bestie and precious jewel, a very important and dear friend, their beloved and love and not like a child or an employee, or a silly person or a dunce.

 

 

The Right To Be Shown Respect!

Sometimes a partner teases you about certain things, situations and events, not because they feel awkward or because they think it’s fun for both of you, but if you tell them that it’s hurting your feelings and ask them to stop they should listen and do what’s important and needful.

Sometimes a partner, mate or spouse tries to micro-manage your life believing they know what’s best for you or give you orders because they think that’s how to be helpful, but if you tell them you don’t want that level of input then they should back off and show respect attention to your needs and care.

If they aren’t willing to do what’s appropriate or show respect to you and your needs especially concerning what you want and don’t want in the relationship, then it’s time to have a rethink and re-evaluate the relationship.

You need to put yourself fist and ahead of your partner and ask if you are getting your mileage out of the relationship and if your needs and desires are being met.

Your relationship should make you happy as your partner, mate or spouse compliments the essence of who and what you are as a being of light and love.

Love And Understand Your Partner!

When you realize that your partner is a being of light and love like you are, who has their short comings and is doing the best that they can do in the present moment, then you can easily overlook any shortcoming in your partner and stop the narratives of the mind.

When you can truly be conscious and realize the game playing out and try, really try to stay positive and ahead of your mind.

Most people would rephrase to means – being aware. This comes with an expanded state of consciousness.

Awareness means you know the mind game and how the mind likes to stay in its mental grooves and aberrations and doesn’t like change of any form as it likes to stay always in status quo.

You come to the realization that you are not the mind and you are not what you are thinking, you are not your thoughts.

 

 

Build A Healthy Relationship By Standing Up For Your Rights!

If you realize or are just realizing that you have let some of these rights that are fundamental for your happiness and well-being get overridden in your relationships, please don’t blame yourself.

Standing up for yourself in your relationship can be really hard and most times takes a lot of practice and more practice to stay abreast of it all.

You are always working on it and it is always a work in progress and you couldn’t do it without the help of supportive friends, family and possibly your friendly therapist and ally to show the way and guide you appropriately.

Reading lots of books and articles and getting help on self-empowerment is crucial on your journey to mastering yourself and creating your happiness for yourself in your relationship.

I would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a line.

In closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:

“Thank you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be. Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.

Jean Voice Dart!

 

These words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being”.

Hafiz

“Within you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.

Robert Adam

“Don’t you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.

Rumi

“I am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.

Jesus

“Your heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.

Mooji

 

Taking responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a reality for most people.

Taking responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long run.

Every condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.

Every problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and emotions carefully and guard them jealously.

Nothing can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move through your limitations.

‘Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’

The purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of the divine.

As long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will pay you back handsomely.

A lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.

This is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.

Our fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to face the lesson and conquer it.

You can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.

It takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:

1. THOUGHTS

2. WORDS

3. ACTION

Nobody wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions come in.

If and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are causing your problems and have taken control of your life.

That’s when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.

To succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to succeed.

The most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.

You can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe that it is possible.

Victims do not hold that belief!

So ask yourself – are you a victim?

Sometimes a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is yours and yours only.

Remember if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the email and phone numbers listed below:

francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com

+234 9035143577

+234 8026634753

 

Or chat me up on WhatsApp on:

+234 9035143577

+234 8026634753

You can join us on our Facebook page and group @francherbal

You can message us on WhatsApp at https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1

Or on twitter @franc-herbal.