Cultivating a Growth Mindset In Your Relationships!
Is blame or the blame game/accusation game an ever-present theme
or never ending feature in your relationships?
It’s Time To Grow!
It’s time to grow out of that and see things and relationships
from a growth mindset based on understanding human tendencies like their
weaknesses and strengths and also understanding that everyone is doing the best
they can at the present moment and we can’t always get life to go the way we
want.
Growth mindset-oriented people add the word ‘yet’ to challenges
to make it less intimidating and daunting and make it feel like a walk over and
quite achievable no matter how tough and impossible it may look or seem.
When issues arise between you and your mate, spouse or partner, look
inwards and come to a place of understanding and love and instead of blaming
the other person, understand them and their struggles to do better and be
better.
When you come to this understanding, you can now discuss how best
to grow from the situation and how each of you can be better and do better in
view of the prevailing circumstances.
This way you create a channel or a means where you can help each
other grow and develop into a better, stronger and wiser human being.
You both realize at this point that no matter what life throws
at you both, no matter what challenges and problems you may face, you will both
overcome the storm by weathering it together.
United You Stand And Divided You Fall!
This creates an emotional and cognitive distance and
understanding from blaming your partner, mate or spouse as well as self-blame
for whatever you may be going through at any given moment.
Critical thinking is important in matters of the heart, as it
will help you get a 360 degree view of the problem and automatically bringing
the solution to the same problem, but when you always play the victim (or
victimizing your partner, mate or spouse) this unfortunately keeps you mired in
the fixed mindset.
You simply cannot grow and develop with such a mindset!
Shyness is a high
hurdle for so many people yet only a few recognize this challenge and even a
greater few are ready or willing to do something about it or correct it.
Yet, shy people are
perfectly suited for the growth mindset, they can grow and develop
exponentially irrespective of the situation they may find themselves in as long
as they are willing to accept responsibility for themselves and grow from it.
Using your shyness for
engaging with others and for loving relationship with your partner, mate or
spouse and learning from them and all others around you instead of
self-criticism helps you grow as a person, as well as being open and honest
with your partner.
It’s important to
remember that this is a practice; nobody is naturally born with the gift of
being the center of attention, love and total understanding. This is leant as
you come to a greater understanding and knowledge of who and what you are at
the core of your being.
You are a magnificent
being of pure light and love operating at the frequency of light and love and
pure understanding, interconnecting with life and all creations because you are
all one and the same.
You might not want to
strive for attention and especially love and understanding from your partner, mate
and spouse but speaking your mind and making yourself present is important.
Love And Understand Your Partner!
When
you realize that your partner is a being of light and love like you are, who
has their short comings and is doing the best that they can do in the present
moment, then you can easily overlook any shortcoming in your partner and stop
the narratives of the mind.
When
you can truly be conscious and realize the game playing out and try, really try
to stay positive and ahead of your mind.
Most
people would rephrase to means – being aware. This comes with an expanded state
of consciousness.
Awareness
means you know the mind game and how the mind likes to stay in its mental
grooves and aberrations and doesn’t like change of any form as it likes to stay
always in status quo.
You
come to the realization that you are not the mind and you are not what you are
thinking, you are not your thoughts.
Remember
that the mind is simply a tool to help you navigate the lower worlds like the
physical world where you exist and since it has made itself your protector
would turn you away from change which is usually for the better.
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long
run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt
and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and
that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and
desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions
come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the
patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are
causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and that
you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So
ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at
https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal.
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