Are You Giving Up Your True Self For Intimacy?
As a woman, have you taken time out to figure out what rights you may
have or not have in your relationships? Are you simply existing in your
relationship for the sake of keeping that relationship or are you sacrificing
yourself just for intimacy and the relationship.
Many Women Give Up
Basic Personal Rights In A Relationship!
Many women are trained by their family and their culture to
always put others’ needs first way ahead of their own especially those of their
husbands and children.
That way they are deemed subservient and praised as being the
virtuous one which they back up with scriptural quotes and stories of women who
had done that in the bible and how they were rewarded,
They are taught that sacrificing their own wants, desires, plans
for the future, their dreams and aspirations, their goals and needs was indeed a
virtue and a high honour, and that their identity should revolve around their
romantic partner and eventually their children.
Family Is Everything!
They are taught that family was everything and that is simply
the husband and the wife and they are subservient to their husbands.
They were also taught to trust other peoples judgment above
their own especially those of their husbands and elders whether these or not
these judgement was in their best interest or not as that doesn’t matter at
all, because they were automatically assumed to be more “irrational” because of
being a woman.
Most of these messages weren’t communicated directly, but
indirectly in a thousand subtle expectations, in some areas or communities and
societies it came as orders and demands from the male domination and the
females are expected to obey without complain.
You Have The Right to Express Your Needs and
Have Them Considered!
A relationship most times may mean coming to a compromise
between your needs and those of your partner, mate or spouse in order to
maintain harmony and balance in the relationship but you should always be able
to say what you need and have your partner, mate or spouse consider how best to
support you.
You Have The Right
To Express Your Needs!
There is a huge difference between:
“After thinking it over, analyzing and exploring different
options, I don’t think I can do that for you”
And:
“No, I’m not interested in expending my energy in any way or in
any form to support you.”
The first one shows consideration for you and your needs by your
partner, mate or spouse and even though it was rejected at the end of the day,
you and your needs were given due consideration and care.
In the second case, your partner, mate or spouse isn’t even
willing to listen to you or your needs, neither are they willing to give you
the required consideration as expected in the relationship.
Growing And Evolving!
But
when you are evolving and expanding, you automatically take responsibility for
your life and existence. You want to create a more comfortable and pleasing
life for yourself.
You
begin to take charge of all events and that means taking over the pilotship and
control of your life and recreating your life.
By
this stage you are truly expanding and can see the great illusion of life and
the picture is beginning to take shape as you understand that you mustn’t be
caught up in the game of life and the narratives and play of the mind.
That
you must only see that which you desire to see irrespective of your outer
circumstances especially of the picture the mind is painting.
Love And Understand Your Partner!
When
you realize that your partner is a being of light and love like you are, who
has their short comings and is doing the best that they can do in the present
moment, then you can easily overlook any shortcoming in your partner and stop
the narratives of the mind.
When
you can truly be conscious and realize the game playing out and try, really try
to stay positive and ahead of your mind.
Most
people would rephrase to means – being aware. This comes with an expanded state
of consciousness.
Awareness
means you know the mind game and how the mind likes to stay in its mental
grooves and aberrations and doesn’t like change of any form as it likes to stay
always in status quo.
You
come to the realization that you are not the mind and you are not what you are
thinking, you are not your thoughts.
Build A Healthy
Relationship By Standing Up For Your Rights!
If you realize or are just realizing that you have let some of
these rights that are fundamental for your happiness and well-being get
overridden in your relationships, please don’t blame yourself.
Standing up for yourself in your relationship can be really hard
and most times takes a lot of practice and more practice to stay abreast of it
all.
You are always working on it and it is always a work in progress
and you couldn’t do it without the help of supportive friends, family and
possibly your friendly therapist and ally to show the way and guide you
appropriately.
Reading lots of books and articles and getting help on
self-empowerment is crucial on your journey to mastering yourself and creating
your happiness for yourself in your relationship.
Talking with a counselor or a therapist as you deem fit, and
getting perspective from friends who are good at standing up for their own
needs and who can help you by guiding you on your own journey so that you can
do the same for yourself are all good ways to develop this skill.
So
by expanding and taking charge, you become aware of the serenity and truth of
life and what it really is.
Then
you and your partner can continue your connection in light and love through the
great source of all life that has brought you too together to learn to give and
receive love and to help each other become the best versions of yourself.
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a
line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long
run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt
and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and
that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and
desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions
come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the
patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are
causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and
that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So
ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at
https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal.
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