How Fixed is Your Mindset?
Growth mindset-oriented people add the word ‘yet’ to challenges
to make it less intimidating and daunting and make it feel like a walk over and
quite achievable no matter how tough and impossible it may look or seem.
You Can Have A
Fixed Mindset Only If You Choose To!
The truth is everything in your life is about how you view it and see
it and nothing more. You can have a fixed mindset about three things in your life:
1. You can believe
that your qualities are fixed in life
2. Your partner’s qualities are fixed in life
3. Your relationship’s qualities are fixed for life
That it’s inherently good or bad, meant-to-be or not meant-to-be, great
or abysmal.
Some even relish on the experience of it as being fantastic or bad, out
of the world or disappointing and some ladies even day dream lost in their own
worlds of bliss while others may experience agony and fear.
Many Of Us Have A
Fixed Mindset When It Comes To Relationships!
The “meant-to-be”
approach to relationships can be filed into the same magical thinking category
as the fact that the ‘everything happens for a reason theory or belief and
everything gets judged or is centered around this theory or belief.
The notion that life is a journey and that each person is on
their own track and on their own syllabus and curriculum different from other
and that no two persons or people have the same syllabus or life mission.
This not only creates false expectations and high beliefs and
hopes it does nothing to aid you when the inevitable conflict arises in the
relationship.
As Dweck states:
“Just as there are no great achievements
without setbacks, there are no great relationships without conflicts and
problems along the way”.
When
there is suspicion in a relationship, the love starts to wane and may
eventually die out if the cause is not addressed and worked through by both
parties in order to sustain the longevity of that relationship especially if it
was built on love and affection.
The Human Mind Sees Negativity!
The
human mind is wired for negativity and it sees chaos and trouble while in your
true essence you truly are a being of light and love and ever so interconnected
with all life through the great source of all life.
Life
is a great school to learn to give love and receive love but we must choose
love albeit which principally is your state of consciousness.
But
the challenges of the hustle and bustle of it all can bring you to the state of
fear, anxiety and worry and before you know it, you are already moving from the
state of love and gratitude to that of fear and worry.
Before
you know it, you may be flip over and get stuck, seriously stuck in the mind
grooves and it narratives. The mind decides to go into protective mode and
creates its own narratives especially of suspicion concerning your partner and
in most cases it isn’t really true, just mere images of what the mind pictures
as possibilities.
Growing And Evolving!
But
when you are evolving and expanding, you automatically take responsibility for
your life and existence. You want to create a more comfortable and pleasing
life for yourself.
You
begin to take charge of all events and that means taking over the pilotship and
control of your life and recreating your life.
By
this stage you are truly expanding and can see the great illusion of life and
the picture is beginning to take shape as you understand that you mustn’t be
caught up in the game of life and the narratives and play of the mind.
That
you must only see that which you desire to see irrespective of your outer
circumstances especially of the picture the mind is painting.
Love And Understand Your Partner!
When
you realize that your partner is a being of light and love like you are, who
has their short comings and is doing the best that they can do in the present
moment, then you can easily overlook any shortcoming in your partner and stop
the narratives of the mind.
When
you can truly be conscious and realize the game playing out and try, really try
to stay positive and ahead of your mind.
Most
people would rephrase to means – being aware. This comes with an expanded state
of consciousness.
Awareness
means you know the mind game and how the mind likes to stay in its mental
grooves and aberrations and doesn’t like change of any form as it likes to stay
always in status quo.
You
come to the realization that you are not the mind and you are not what you are
thinking, you are not your thoughts.
Remember
that the mind is simply a tool to help you navigate the lower worlds like the
physical world where you exist and since it has made itself your protector
would turn you away from change which is usually for the better.
I
would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a
line.
In
closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank
you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love
reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be.
Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean
Voice Dart!
These
words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I
wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light
of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within
you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert
Adam
“Don’t
you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I
am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your
heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking
responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a
reality for most people.
Taking
responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and
blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long run.
Every
condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for
review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt
and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and
that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.
Every
problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and
emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing
can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move
through your limitations.
‘Let
yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’
The
purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and
experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a
part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of
the divine.
As
long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a
challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will
pay you back handsomely.
A
lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until
you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson
is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.
This
is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons
and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.
Our
fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to
face the lesson and conquer it.
You
can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want
it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.
It
takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life
because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody
wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t
take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and desire
to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions come in.
If
and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the
patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are
causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s
when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to
help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.
To
succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the
prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to
succeed.
The
most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and
that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.
You
can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe
that it is possible.
Victims
do not hold that belief!
So
ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes
a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a
host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is
yours and yours only.
Remember
if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the
email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
Or
chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234
9035143577
+234
8026634753
You can join us on our Facebook page
and group @francherbal
You can message us on WhatsApp at https://wa.me/message/QTKUXHPZ3GDJJ1
Or
on twitter @franc-herbal.
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