Your Self-Value And How You Preserve it!

In a culture dominated by early marriages among girls  that are barely out of their diapers and barely walking and then to celebrity break-up gossip and tales, we can at least hope to learn from past mistake and misguided errors, culture and tradition.

Changing Them Is The Key!

As Dweck notes – “all of us have some fixed and some growth mindsets”, the goal then should be to focus on the latter – growth mindset rather than on the fixed mindset of the elite who see it fit to run society as they desire which is usually not in the best interest of all citizenry.

In terms of relationships and friendships, your focus and goal and any advice being sought after should be based and centered on time-tested ways of keeping not only your relationship moving forward and growing exponentially but also on your own self-value and worth.

We Can Learn A Lot From Our Break-Ups!

First of all let me ask you some questions and it’s good to think about this carefully –

What have you learned/learnt from your past rejections and failed relationships and marriages?

Is there any form of vengeance or plan for executing revenge in your blood or your mind as you think out ways to settle the score with your former partner or spouse?

Can you forgive your spouse or partner totally for whatever perceived grievances that they may have caused you and move on?

Moving On After A Failed Relationship!

How you leave or move away after a failed relationship will invariably influence your next relationship or friendship depending on how the situation may be, we all carry baggage along with us from every failed relationship to another whether we are conscious of it or not .

Letting go of bitterness, resentment, anger and all negative thoughts and emotions usually against your former spouse or partner before engaging with your next partner is critical for the success of that new relationship.

Let me quickly ask you this - Do you or did you hope to enter a relationship believing there will never be any conflict and that everything will be perfect from day one?

If that is the case then you have a lot to learn about human relations and psychology and why we are all so unique yet different.

I Am Asking You To Rethink This Mindset!  

When you use problems/issues and challenges in your relationship as a vehicle/or means for developing greater understanding and intimacy in that relationship, it  will serve you better than folding up and giving in so quickly when the pressure begins.

Taking the time to truly listen and responding honestly to your partner or spouse from a place of caring, love and understanding is the key to getting closer to your partner or spouse and resolving your problems, issues and challenges.

Love Triumphs Over Suspicion Which Can Destroy A Relationship!
When there is suspicion in a relationship, the love starts to wane and may eventually die out if the cause is not addressed and worked through by both parties in order to sustain the longevity of that relationship especially if it was built on love and affection.

The Human Mind Sees Negativity!

The human mind is wired for negativity and it sees chaos and trouble while in your true essence you truly are a being of light and love and ever so interconnected with all life through the great source of all life.

Life is a great school to learn to give love and receive love but we must choose love albeit which principally is your state of consciousness.

But the challenges of the hustle and bustle of it all can bring you to the state of fear, anxiety and worry and before you know it, you are already moving from the state of love and gratitude to that of fear and worry.

Before you know it, you may be flip over and get stuck, seriously stuck in the mind grooves and it narratives.

The mind decides to go into protective mode and creates its own narratives especially of suspicion concerning your partner and in most cases it isn’t really true, just mere images of what the mind pictures as possibilities.

Growing And Evolving!

But when you are evolving and expanding, you automatically take responsibility for your life and existence. You want to create a more comfortable and pleasing life for yourself.

That you must only see that which you desire to see irrespective of your outer circumstances especially of the picture the mind is painting.

Love And Understand Your Partner!

When you realize that your partner is a being of light and love like you are, who has their short comings and is doing the best that they can do in the present moment, then you can easily overlook any shortcoming in your partner and stop the narratives of the mind.

When you can truly be conscious and realize the game playing out and try, really try to stay positive and ahead of your mind.

I would love to hear from you or your thoughts on this post, please drop us a line.

In closing, i believe the wisdom below will serve you in life:

“Thank you God, for this beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love reflected in each and every moment, no matter how challenging life may be. Remind me to always look to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.

Jean Voice Dart!

 

These words of Inspirations from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being”.

Hafiz

“Within you is the light of a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.

Robert Adam

“Don’t you know it yet, it is your light that illuminates the worlds”.

Rumi

“I am the light of the world. You are the light of the world”.

Jesus

“Your heart is the light of the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.

Mooji

 

Taking responsibility and recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a reality for most people.

Taking responsibility to see life differently without justification, judgement and blame, rejection or anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long run.

Every condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual condition that has come up for review and to be dealt with and taken care of. Once the lesson is truly learnt and absorbed, the conditions or situation reverses itself and clears out and that’s when we say a healing has occurred and a miracle has happened.

Every problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so watch your thoughts and emotions carefully and guard them jealously.

Nothing can stop you if you have the courage, commitment and the discipline to move through your limitations.

‘Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love’

The purpose of life is to discover who you really are, know and create yourself and experience yourself as who you really are (not the body that houses you) as a part of the divine source to give and receive love and serve all creatures of the divine.

As long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a victim then life becomes a challenge that you can overcome with commitment and consistent work and it will pay you back handsomely.

A lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to the current life until you get the lesson right or understood the reason for it. Each time the lesson is more intense, than the last experience until you recognize it.

This is an interactive universe where we all work together in each other’s lessons and life whether we want it or not or whether we are aware of it or not.

Our fears always surface when we least expect it and when it does, its better to face the lesson and conquer it.

You can take back control of your life and drive it the way you would rather want it to be and have things and have things the way you want it to be.

It takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that have happened in your life because whether you agree or not, you are held responsible for all your:

1. THOUGHTS

2. WORDS

3. ACTION

Nobody wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or victim mentality and it won’t take you far except you sit still, take stock of your life and determine and desire to turn it around and that’s where and when the answers or solutions come in.

If and when you are now truly ready to take back control and look out for the patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind aberrations that are causing your problems and have taken control of your life.

That’s when the creative centers open within and you can finally have the tools to help you change the course of your life and manifest your destiny.

To succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a loser no matter what the prevailing situation or condition might be and you evaluate what you can do to succeed.

The most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth and self-confidence and that you understand that you are entitled to abundance in your life.

You can do anything you want to and be anything you want to, provided you believe that it is possible.

Victims do not hold that belief!

So ask yourself – are you a victim?

Sometimes a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health Consultant like myself and a host of others can help guide you on this journey into an amazing life that is yours and yours only.

Remember if you have questions or need further clarification, please contact me on the email and phone numbers listed below:

francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com

+234 9035143577

+234 8026634753

 

Or chat me up on WhatsApp on:

+234 9035143577

+234 8026634753

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