You Have The Right To A Balance Of Give And Take
It only makes sense
and appear plausible that you stand in and be there for the other person,
throughout the period of their issues or conditions. Most times it’s been there
for the other person that helps them find the strength and courage to face what
they must face and learn the inherent lesson therein.
In general though, the times when you step in or step up to
support your partner should be balanced by the times your partner steps up to
support you too. That effectively creates a balance of give and take, without
making any partner feel he/she is giving too much and under-appreciated by the
other.
Women in particular
often find that they drop everything at the drop of a hat, and silence their
own needs when their partner is struggling. They are only after his return top
sound health and vitality irrespective of what they have to do for it and at
the cost of their own.
And then when they’re
having a really hard time in their own life or when they are facing serious
issues, challenges and problems, that’s when the other partner only makes tiny
adjustments or not much at all to take
care of them (often while expecting lots of credit).
This often brings a
lot of tension and unhappiness to them as they would expect a reciprocal of
what they had given in the first place when their partner was down and out, but
alas life doesn’t always seem to go the way we planned or the way we expected
at all.
While some are so
lucky and blessed and in return find a partner who would return the same favour
they were given and sometimes even showing more love and attention, some others
are not so lucky and have to contend with partner who only try a bit or not
much at all, while at the same time expecting so much appreciation for the
meagre help and affection given.
Either ways most
partners expect the same level of love, affection and attention they were given
or that they gave their partner when they were down and out, to be returned to
them whenever they are caught up in their own struggles and challenges.
But alas, life doesn’t
work that way!
We don’t often get
what we want or desire but we get a return of who we are at our deepest core.
Finding balance in a relationship
You have every right
to ask your partner or partners to step up for you in the same ways you step up
for them, even if it takes some work and adjustment on their part.
After all life is all
about love and sacrifice!
Ask yourself one
question:
If you cannot do
anything for your partner and loved ones, then who will you do it for!
Ponder on that for
awhile!
Back to the matter at
hand, while it’s truly great to expect your partner to measure up the way you measured
up during their time, it may not totally work that way.
Mostly we tend to
attract what we are and the divine source is no respecter of fame nor class,
you are given according to what you have earned or given out.
No shortcut and no
deception!
“You only give out
what is inside of you”
If you have orange
inside and are overflowing with love and tenderness, gratitude and joy and you
bless everyone and everything on your path with such, then you need not worry
because that’s what you will attract back to you.
As you give of this
love and affection, tenderness and joy to your partner, it will unfailingly be
returned back to you when you are at your lowest and most of the time, even
much more than you would ever have expected.
If you have
lemon/bitterness inside and are overflowing with fear and anger, sadness and
anguish and you send that out to everyone and everything on your path, then you
need not worry because that’s exactly what you will attract back to you.
As you give of such
negativity and pretend to be loving and kind, then unfailingly the same
behaviour and deceit that you displayed is what you will attract back to
yourself from your partner.
There are some rather
peculiar cases where the partner doesn’t love himself or herself and rather showers
everything on the other partner whether they want it or not, they shouldn’t be
surprised that they will attract a partner that will not show them love but who
will take advantage of them till the end.
Why you ask?
Because they do not
love themselves so they cannot attract love back to themselves, so to help them
balanced out and learn the lesson, they attract partners that will take
advantage of them until they learn to love themselves and choose themselves
first before another.
When they do and they cherish
themselves then will they attract partners who will cherish and love them as
they love themselves and life can be become happy and joyful.
So you do have the
right to a balance of give and take in your relationships but make sure to give
first with gratitude and love and you will be blessed a thousand times as you
attract same back to you.
In closing, i believe the
wisdom below will serve you in life:
“Thank you God, for this
beautiful day today. Help me to always see your love reflected in each and
every moment, no matter how challenging life may be. Remind me to always look
to my heart for the LESSONS and BLESSINGS in life”.
Jean Voice Dart!
These words of Inspirations
from the enlightened ones will serve you even more:
“I wish I could show you
when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being”.
Hafiz
“Within you is the light of
a thousand suns, within you is unimaginable beauty”.
Robert Adam
“Don’t you know it yet, it
is your light that illuminates the worlds”.
Rumi
“I am the light of the
world. You are the light of the world”.
Jesus
“Your heart is the light of
the world, don’t cover it with your mind”.
Mooji
Taking responsibility and
recognizing that we cause all of our core issues is not a reality for most
people.
Taking responsibility to see
life differently without justification, judgement and blame, rejection or
anxiety, fear or anger would really help you in the long run.
Every condition, disease or disorder is a spiritual
condition that has come up for review and to be dealt with and taken care of.
Once the lesson is truly learnt and absorbed, the conditions or situation
reverses itself and clears out and that’s when we say a healing has occurred
and a miracle has happened.
Every problem preludes a negative thought and mindset so
watch your thoughts and emotions carefully and guard them jealously.
Nothing can stop you if you have the courage, commitment
and the discipline to move through your limitations.
‘Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which
you truly love’
The purpose of life is to discover who you really are,
know and create yourself and experience yourself as who you really are (not the
body that houses you) as a part of the divine source to give and receive love
and serve all creatures of the divine.
As long as you don’t or you refuse to see yourself as a
victim then life becomes a challenge that you can overcome with commitment and
consistent work and it will pay you back handsomely.
A lesson you avoided in a past life will be forwarded to
the current life until you get the lesson right or understood the reason for
it. Each time the lesson is more intense, than the last experience until you
recognize it.
This is an interactive universe where we all work
together in each other’s lessons and life whether we want it or not or whether
we are aware of it or not.
Our fears always surface when we least expect it and when
it does, its better to face the lesson and conquer it.
You can take back control of your life and drive it the
way you would rather want it to be and have things and have things the way you
want it to be.
It takes taking responsibility for all the wrongs that
have happened in your life because whether you agree or not, you are held
responsible for all your:
1. THOUGHTS
2. WORDS
3. ACTION
Nobody wants to listen to your cry of wolf or denial or
victim mentality and it won’t take you far except you sit still, take stock of
your life and determine and desire to turn it around and that’s where and when
the answers or solutions come in.
If and when you are now truly ready to take back control
and look out for the patterns and lessons in your life to understand the mind
aberrations that are causing your problems and have taken control of your life.
That’s when the creative centers open within and you can
finally have the tools to help you change the course of your life and manifest
your destiny.
To succeed in life, you must refuse to see yourself as a
loser no matter what the prevailing situation or condition might be and you
evaluate what you can do to succeed.
The most important qualities are self-esteem, self-worth
and self-confidence and that you understand that you are entitled to abundance
in your life.
You can do anything you want to and be anything you want
to, provided you believe that it is possible.
Victims do not hold that belief!
So ask yourself – are you a victim?
Sometimes a little help from a Therapist or Mental Health
Consultant like myself and a host of others can help guide you on this journey
into an amazing life that is yours and yours only.
This is all for now!
Remember if you have questions or need further
clarification, please contact me on the email and phone numbers listed below:
francherbalandmakeover@gmail.com
+234 9035143577
+234 7057372477
+234 8126941886
Or chat me up on WhatsApp on:
+234 9035143577
+234 8026634753
You can join
us on our Facebook page and group @francherbal
Or
on twitter @francherbal
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